Have No Anxiety

I've mentioned before that when life gets tough, God is always there to hold my hand and help me through this journey. Today I'd like to elaborate on that a bit.

In our busy world, stress and anxiety are rampant. Whether you are dealing with school, work, relationships, or anything else, the Enemy will try to use stress and doubt to discourage you on your journey to Heaven. If you've ever been swarmed with thoughts such as "I'm not good enough," "I may as well give up," "I'm not a good person," or "I don't deserve love," please hear me when I say that I've been there. Many times. And I know it's very important that you don't give into despair. So here are some ways to push through this type of unhelpful thinking.

1. Recognize the voice. Feelings of shame, despair, and general negativity are not from God. He will never tell you that you're not good enough. He will never say that you can't achieve holiness. So whose voice is telling you these things? Satan's. It sounds weird and scary, I know. But once you recognize his hold on you, it's easy to shake him off. Why? Because Satan always lies, or twists the truth somehow. Once you know that those negative thoughts are lies (or twisted half-truths), you can let them go. So the next time you feel like you're not good enough, take a moment to remember that this thought is a lie. You are good enough. You are smart enough. You are beautiful enough. Don't believe me? Ask your Heavenly Father. He'll back me up.
2. Bring your fears to the Lord. I'm sure that throughout your life, many people have told you to turn to God in prayer. You may be tired of hearing this advice, but the reason you keep hearing it is because it truly works. Ask God for peace and protection. He will grant it. If you have trouble praying, try keeping a prayer journal. This really helps me because I'm very scatterbrained, and it's hard for me to focus when I pray. But when I write God a letter, it's so much easier for me to organize my thoughts and offer them to our Lord.
3. Keep your Bible close. God's word has so many beautiful verses about anxiety and fears. It could not be more clear that God wants us to give our worries to Him, rather than letting them bog us down. One of the wonderful things about God's love is that He chose to take on a physical body and experience the daily sufferings, trials, and temptations of being human. There is no suffering we can experience that Jesus has not already felt. And because of this, there is no suffering that He won't understand. No trial, inconvenience, or bit of stress is to small to bring to God. If you're looking for Bible verses that deal with anxiety and you don't know where to start, try reading 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 91:9-11, Matthew 6:25, Psalm 46: 1-2, 10-11, and Philippians 4:6-7 (my personal favorite).

To finish up, I'd like to share a quick story about a time that the Lord came to me in a time of need. About 18 months ago, I was struggling with religious scrupulosity. I was afraid of being a bad person,  afraid especially of the idea that I might be a bad person and not even realize it. So one day I was in Mass, debating whether or not to receive holy Communion. (If you are not Catholic Christian, you may not be familiar with this. As Catholics believe in the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, we may not receive Him into our bodies if we have turned away from Him or renounced Him in some way. In other words, we do not receive the Eucharist when/if we are in a state of mortal sin). I couldn't remember doing anything very wrong, but I continued to worry. What if I was in a state of mortal sin and didn't know? (Just to clarify, this is not possible. You can't freely and willingly reject God's love without being aware that you're doing it. But anxiety is not rational, so I worried anyway). I ended up receiving the Eucharist, but continued to feel uneasy. At the end of Mass, I realized that I hadn't heard the readings, because I'd been so distracted and confused. So I opened the missal and flipped to that day's page. This is what I saw:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard you hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you," (Philippians 4:4-9).

 Immediately a weight was lifted from my shoulders, because I knew that God was with me and I knew He had sent me this verse. I wasn't a bad person. And everything was going to be okay. 

Have you ever felt God comfort you in a time of need? Do you have any advice on dealing with stress and anxiety? Feel free to comment below!

Peace and Blessings,

Julia

A Little Background...

If you opened this page and thought, "why is this girl a college dropout?" I have good news. You're about to find out. I'm sharing my story here as a reference for future posts that will discuss overcoming the pressures and difficulties that young adults face in daily life. Although a considerable amount of my struggles have stemmed from illness, I hope that my story of perseverance and healing will be helpful,  whether you're recovering from a disappointing experience, a bad grade, a toxic relationship, or any of the numerous hurdles we experience in high school, college, and beyond.

Over a year ago, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's, an autoimmune disease that attacks the thyroid and causes hormone imbalances and leads to numerous symptoms including weight gain and crushing fatigue. I spent summer 2017 sick in bed, unable to think and too tired to work or even see my friends. After trying a few different medications and doses, it seemed that I had my symptoms under control. That fall, I attended Benedictine College in hopes that I could start with a light course load and gradually adapt to the life of a normal eighteen-year-old girl. This decision did not end well. I was constantly fatigued, couldn't get enough nutrition in the cafeteria, due to the many dietary restrictions of life with an autoimmune disease, and became increasingly depressed. By January, I couldn't see the point of living. Even surrounded by people I loved, I was in ceaseless mental and emotional pain. No matter what I did, I couldn't hide that I was constantly on the verge of tears, living with horrid thoughts. I remember telling myself that there was a way out, and it would be all too easy to bring to fruition, if I could only bring myself to do it. But even in these darkest moments, I knew that God's calling for me involved living beyond the tender age of eighteen. Oddly enough, it was the thought of my future that kept me going, even when I couldn't imagine things getting any better. I began writing a series of letters to my future husband (which I still intend to give him one day), and I kept him, a man I probably have yet to meet, close to my heart.

Since January, I've been to more doctors, trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with me. After a journey spanning four years and twelve so-called "health experts," we finally discovered that I have chronic Lyme Disease. This diagnosis is the root cause of my Hashimoto's Disease, as well as my depression and many other symptoms. Although my journey to health is far from over, I am so happy and relieved to have received this diagnosis. Yes, you read that right. I'm happy because we finally know what's wrong with me, and we can treat it. I'm happy because I now know that the pain I've been experiencing won't last forever. I'm happy because through this process, I've learned a lot about myself, about others, and about my faith.

In my time away from school, I've had considerable time to pray and reflect on God's goodness. He has been with me every slow, painful step of the way on this journey. He has sent me His words, His peace, His presence whenever I've needed it most. He has blessed me with a future that is brighter every day, and I am so thankful. I've learned that it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay that I'm not pulled together and I don't have my life figured out. So many young adults feel pressured to conform to these impossible standards we've set for ourselves. But the reality is, God doesn't call us to perfection. He calls us to do the best we can. So no matter how many times we come to our Heavenly Father in tears, He won't be angry or impatient or tell us we're weak and need to grow a thicker skin. Instead, He greets us with love and mercy and equips us with the grace we need to fight another day.

So why am I sharing this story? Why now? There are several reasons. We live in a society where, when someone asks, "how are you?," It's socially unacceptable to respond with anything besides "good!" or "great!" But I'm here to tell you that it's okay and even normal to have really bad days. Days when you don't want to talk, when you feel like your whole world is collapsing in on itself, or when you just want to go to sleep and wake up in five or ten years when everything's better. It's okay if, sometimes, you don't feel like doing the things you usually love. Especially if you are living with a physical or mental illness.

Obviously, these aren't feelings to aspire to. But what I'm saying is, when they happen (because they will!) don't beat yourself up. Take a break. Take a breath. And then, keep going because we are God's hands and feet in this world. None of us are called to be Sleeping Beauty, so we can't just hit the snooze button until Prince Charming shows up and sets the world straight (as tempting as this might be some days). If there's one thing I know, it's that I'm a lot stronger than I look, and this princess can damn well slay her own dragons. That being said, it's okay to need help sometimes. Some dragons require multiple fighters to take them down. And that's alright. Because tomorrow is a new day. And I, for one, am going to use it to keep on fighting.

Stay tuned for new posts about my experiences, as well as my advice on pursuing a Catholic-Christian lifestyle in a world full of obstacles. I feel a calling on my heart to share my journey, in hopes that my experiences will be a source of inspiration and empowerment for other young adults.