Hello, All!
I haven’t been consistent with
posting, and for that I apologize. Life has been hard and crazy and
frustrating. But there have been good moments, too. Moments of joy, of peace,
of consolation in a sea of chaos and confusion. And I’d like to take a moment
to talk about one of those.
Throughout
my life, I’ve had a few of those bone-chilling, mind-numbing, awe-inducing God
moments. You know what I’m talking about--when you’re lost and confused, and
suddenly God communicates His love for you, and you’re left speechless. It might be through something small, like song lyrics on the radio, a line in a favorite book, or the way golden streams of sunlight break through cloud in late afternoon. But as small as it is, you feel God's presence and you know He has a message that's meant just for you. I’d
like to share my most recent experience of this type, in the hopes that it will be a reminder
of God’s love and mercy for all of us.
A week ago, I was considering my faith in God, and how to
share it with other people. As Christians (and specifically as Catholics), we
are often told to “go out and spread the Good News,” or in other words, to
convey Jesus’ display of love in the Gospel to those around us. This may sound
simple, but to many Christians in 21st century America, it poses
some difficulties.
Many Christians find themselves wondering things like, “how
do I express my love for someone without condoning their non-Christian
lifestyle?” or, “how can I teach my friends about God without seeming preachy
and judgmental?” The list of questions from young Christians goes on and on.
All of this
has been weighing heavily on my mind lately, as I try to reconcile the religion
I love with the world I’m living in. I found myself thinking, what good is my faith, really? It must
be much smaller than the size of a mustard seed; I can’t move mountains. I can’t
perform great works. I’m just a little Kansan girl of no great influence. When
I pray, how much does it matter? How do I
know if God is even listening, especially when it doesn’t seem as though He’s
answering my prayers? My faith is tiny, compared to the vastness of God. It’s
broken, flawed, full of doubts and insecurities.
But in that moment, I heard Jesus
say, “your faith has saved you,” as He said to both to the sinful woman who
anointed His feet (Luke 7:50) and to the hemorrhaging woman who touched His
garment (Luke 8:48). And at once, I knew it was true. If I didn’t believe in
God, I wouldn’t be here today. My faith may be small and broken, but it is the
reason I live and breathe. It has saved me.
I don’t share this story lightly.
It may seem insignificant, but I felt God’s presence when He spoke to me. I
also don’t claim to be particularly holy or wise; I believe, that just as Jesus
came to Earth for the sinners rather than the righteous, He sometimes chooses
to speak to those who need Him most, to those who are the most broken. That is,
if they should choose to listen.
How is Jesus active in your life?
What “God Moments” have you experienced? If you’re not sure, pray about it. I
assure you that He is present in you, active in your life whether you realize
it or not.
Feel free to comment your thoughts below!
Love and blessings,
Julia
